Wherever You Will Go Read online

  Wherever You Will Go

  Book 1 in the Try Again Series

  Copyright © Stephanie Smith 2014

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other information storage and retrieval system without the written permission from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Please note Stephanie Smith is an Australian author and some Australian English spelling and slang have been used in this book.

  The following story contains mature themes, strong language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adult readers.

  Editing by Lauren K McKellar

  www.laurenkmckellar.com

  Cover Art by Regina Wamba of Mae I Design and Photography

  www.maeidesign.com

  Interior Design by Stacey Blake of Champagne Formats

  www.thewineyreader.com/champagneformats

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Epilogue

  Note from the author

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Standing in my en-suite, I brush my long dark hair into waves down my back. My eyes linger on the tall figure leaning in the doorway, his shoulder up against the frame, strong arms resting across a broad chest. I run my gaze from the top of his shaggy blond hair to his pale blue eyes. My stare continues, losing myself in his long legs covered in striped pyjama pants, and then on to enjoy one of my favourite body parts: his perfectly sculpted feet. Who knew bare feet could be so sexy? If only he didn’t have issues with his feet being touched I would …

  “Don’t even think about it, Brooke.” I am pulled out of my most perfect thoughts and brought back to those piercing baby blues. Nate is looking at me with a smug smile on his face as he pushes off the door and saunters over to me like he has all the time and not a care in the world.

  “Think about what?” I ask shyly, trying to hide my smile.

  “Whatever you were thinking about doing to my feet. You know I can’t be held responsible for what happens if you touch them,” he smiles a cocky grin.

  “Just remember how bad you felt last time when you kicked me in the face.” I give him a mock glare. Nate’s cocky grin turns into a wide smile, showing near perfect white teeth. He starts laughing as he turns me back to face the mirror and goes to stand behind me.

  He pulls my hair across and over the front of one shoulder as he trails his lips across my shoulder blades. “I think I more than made up for it if I remember correctly.” I feel his smile against my skin as he presses slow deliberate kisses down my spine.

  The tickling sensation and the roaming hands distract me, delicately tracing back and forth along my stomach and up and down my hips, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. Nate palms both breasts and begins cupping their fullness and squeezing them tenderly. My eyes meet his cheeky grin in the mirror, and I laugh at his mischievous smile. “You’ve always been a boob man, haven’t you?”

  “Not until I met you. I’d never seen such beautiful big tits before.”

  I relish the compliment and agree my breasts are my best feature. Unfortunately though, to enjoy them I have to accept the wide hips, flabby tummy, and big ass. It could be worse, I could have a huge ass without the perk of a big rack. Standing there, I scrutinize every dimple, mark, and stretch mark, remembering our other recent conversation about breasts, not as enjoyable as this one.

  “How was Claire last night with all the talk about boobs after having kids? Awkward much?” I turn up my nose in disgust.

  Nate laughs. “I know, I can’t believe Jeremy just sat there and let her go on, and then decided to add his side with all that talk about how much it’s affected him,” he says in distaste, moving his hands back to my stomach.

  I gasp, forgetting all about that bit. “I know, right? What a pig. I would be devastated if you spoke about me like that after I’d just pushed your kid the size of a watermelon out of my vagina and then let it hang off my tits for nine months.”

  Nate abruptly releases his hold and bends over, his hands slapping his knees.

  “Babe, are you all right?” Concern laces my tone.

  Nate’s shoulders shaking, I bend down to meet his face and see it’s all scrunched up in what looks like agony. “What the?” I whisper as Nate stands up straighter but holds his belly and suddenly lets out a loud laugh. I look at him, confused, trying to remember if I said anything funny, and it suddenly occurs to me that he is laughing at me. I move my weight onto one foot as I place my hands on my hips and give him a pointed look. “Are you for real? I was trying to have a serious conversation.”

  Nate is laughing as he struggles to catch a breath. “Oh, babe, just say it like it is.”

  Glaring at him, I pout like a spoiled child. Nate ends up laughing more, and I decide I’ve seen enough. I begin to stomp out of the en-suite, but as I pass him he quickly sobers and turns to grab me. He pulls me back to face the mirror and locks me in place with his strong arms that go around my waist and rest on my tummy, holding my arms by my side.

  While trying not to laugh more, Nate gives me his gorgeous wide smile. “Babe, I’m sorry. I can’t help it; you’re just too damn cute."

  Forcing a frown, I meet his eyes in the mirror, and he responds with a grin.

  “I think we need to find new friends,” I mumble.

  “Hey! They’re not my friends,” Nate states, as if I’ve offended him by just suggesting it.

  “Well, when you’ve been hanging out with people for ten years, they’re your friends, too.” I give him a cheeky smile. “Besides, if all your friends weren’t overgrown men trying to act like college students still, maybe we could hang out with them more often.”

  “Hey, Saxon is always inviting you to the club with them.”

  “Seriously?” I give him a pointed look. “Saxon
stopped inviting us anywhere as soon as we tied the knot, and you know it.”

  Nate groans. “Not this again. Brooke, I spend every day with him at the office. He’s my best friend, and I love the guy, but I don’t need to catch up with him on the weekends as well. The weekend is our time. My time to worship you.” He eyes turn soft as his hands caress my body.

  Nate and Saxon have been like brothers since childhood. They grew up in the same affluent suburb and attended the same private schools and college. While I don’t know the exact details, Saxon had a hard upbringing and spent most of his childhood at Nate’s house with his family, including holidays and special occasions too. Their close bond continued after college, with Saxon deciding to put his own career on hold to help Nate start and build his business, Argo Investments.

  I’m pulled from my musing when Nate’s face takes on his nervous look, his eyes thinking and debating as he continues to move his hands all over the front of my body, across my tummy, and up my sides to once again cup my breasts. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  After being with Nate for nearly ten years I can read him like a book. That as well as the fact he’s always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve and his thoughts on his face.

  Nate turns me to face him and wraps his arms around me, resting his hands on my lower back. My stomach drops as I narrow my eyes at him, searching his face for any indication of what bomb he is about to drop.

  “While I was trying to scrap those images out of my mind of Jeremy sucking Claire’s tits and getting milk, I started to think about sucking your tits,” Nate says thoughtfully.

  “Excuse me?” I screech, my face scrunched up in confusion.

  “Sorry, that didn’t come out right.” He shakes his head. “I was thinking of me sucking your tits, after you’ve had our baby.”

  Like that made more sense. “What the hell, Nate? I have no idea what you’re talking about, and now I can’t get the vision of Jeremy sucking Claire’s breasts out of my mind.”

  Nate laughs and shakes his head as he puts the words together properly. “I started thinking about you having a baby, about you having our baby.”

  I’m taken aback. We had always mentioned kids, and knew it was a firm decision that we were definitely having them, but had never really discussed when. We were together in college, and following graduation we were busy trying to build our careers, Nate at Argo and me at the art gallery. We’re enjoying life, travelling, going out for fancy dinners, and drinking with friends.

  “What are you saying?” I hear the scepticism in my voice. I don’t want to get excited if I’m misunderstanding. Maybe he’s just mentioning it in a hey, maybe, one day soon way.

  “I’m saying, when I think of you having my baby I get excited, and when I think of you carrying my child, I feel ready.” He places both hands on the side of my face and pulls me in so our noses are almost touching. “What I’m saying is, I want to start our family … now.”

  “Right now?”

  “Brooke, the thought of you pregnant, carrying my kid, it growing inside of you makes me want to throw you down and get started … right now!” His face is serious and his tone demanding.

  “Nate …” I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him hard. There’s no pattern to the kiss, no beautiful matching rhythm. It’s all hands, mouths, and tongues anywhere and everywhere.

  I finally pull away from Nate, both of us breathing hard. “I can’t wait to start our family.”

  Nate moves quick as he grabs my thighs and pulls me up against him. I wrap my legs around his waist as he turns, walking into our bedroom. He throws me down onto our king-size bed, and before I know it, he’s pushed down his pyjama pants.

  The look of awe on his face melts me. In his eyes, I feel perfect. He looks at me like he is the lucky one, like the depth of love he feels for me is unfathomable. It’s the same look I know is mirrored in my own eyes. I will never get tired of him looking at me like that, and hope a day will never come when he doesn’t.

  Nate crawls over me, trailing his lips from the tips of my toes, up the sides of my calves and along my inner thighs, sending goose bumps crawling along my skin. Taking his time, he places soft, sweet kisses in the crease where my thigh and core meet. He continues up all over my stomach and gives a long, slow lick inside my belly button.

  He moves on to place small, tiny pecks all up my sternum and across my collarbone. Of course he can’t ignore my breasts and comes back down with soft bites and nibbles to the top of them.

  By now I’m writhing beneath him, needing more, needing all of him. Nate takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks hard, causing me to buck into him. I thrust my fingers into his hair as I desperately pull him closer.

  He can sense my need but is taking his time. Laughing, as he teases and tortures me. He looks at me with a satisfied smile, sensing my longing for him as he then licks softly over where he just inflicted pain, and then moves on to do the same to the other. I pull his head off my breast and meet his stare with a pleading voice and begging eyes, “Please, make love to me. Let’s make a baby.”

  He groans and kisses me harder, running his hand from my cheek, down my neck, over my breast, and down the middle of my stomach. He palms my pussy and slides his fingers through the lips. “God, Brooke, you’re dripping.”

  “Please, Nate, I need you,” I beg, arching my back.

  Nate sits back on his heels and looks me over from head to toe. “I love you so much, Brooke. I can’t wait to start our family.”

  “Then let’s start it,” I whisper.

  He grabs his hard and straining cock and strokes it a few times before settling between my legs. He leans forward and places himself at my entrance and slowly pushes in. Even after ten years there is no greater feeling than my husband sliding inside me, stretching me and filling me.

  After a few slow strokes I grab at his biceps and pull him closer. Nate understands and pounds into me hard and fast, hitting me so deep my breath catches. He pulls my left leg from around his waist and rests it up over his chest. While holding my ankle, he peppers light kisses over and down my calf.

  I think I’m going to lose it until he speeds up again, pounding me harder and harder. I’m stretched so wide for him with my leg up like this, and I feel him go deeper. I scream out; the intense pressure almost too much to take, and I know I’m close. Nate pumps deep and long into me, continuing a ferocious pace.

  My favourite thing is to watch my husband come. The muscles in his arms and chest tighten with the veins pulsing through his beautiful tan skin as he scrunches his face like it’s almost too much for him.

  He groans his release as I feel him pulsate inside of me. Falling onto me, he rests his head in the crook of my neck as his chest rises and falls quickly, matching my own.

  “Oh God, Nate … I love you … I love you so much … that was …” I get out in between quick breaths.

  Nate, who is also struggling to breathe, opens his eyes and looks into mine. “I love you so much, Brooke. You mean the world to me. You mean everything, and I can’t wait for this next phase of our lives.”

  I am numb. As I sit here and stare at the coffin in front of me, I don’t understand how we got here, how I got here. My gaze is fixed on nothing in particular, just the sight in front of me. My mind isn’t sure if this is really happening.

  The church pew is hard under my bum, and both of my hands are being held and squeezed tightly. My mum is on one side of me, and on the other, my best friend Rachel. Neither one of these women have left my side since the accident.

  Although I know all this, although I’m aware of everything around me, it doesn’t feel real. It feels like I’m not really here, like Nate isn’t lying in that coffin, and this is one fucked-up nightmare.

  Listening to the pastor read aloud the letter I wrote for Nate, reality comes crashing down around me, stabbing me in the heart. I know this is real. I know I really am here, and I know
Nate is lying in that coffin. This isn’t a fucked-up nightmare but reality. The new fucked-up reality which is my life.

  I listen to the words I typed and printed onto a beautiful champagne-coloured card, the words I’d bled onto the computer screen. I’d cried massive amounts of tears wishing Nate were here and wishing I could tell him how I felt, how much I loved him and how much I needed him.

  My chest is tight and pain flows through me. My heart has shattered into a million tiny pieces. I’m not sure how it’s even still beating. I’m numb to the world around me, numb to all feelings.

  I keep replaying that day over and over in my head, wondering how it all went wrong. How did something so precious get ripped out of my hands in the blink of an eye?

  After Nate and I made love, we lay in bed, wrapped up in each other’s arms while talking about anything and everything to do with babies. What gender we wanted and why. Would we find out the sex, and the positives and negatives of having a daughter versus a son. How would we decorate the nursery? What stuff did we need to buy?

  Our hands had never left each other as we chatted and discussed all our thoughts and feelings on the subject. Nate had rubbed his strong hands up and down my back, caressing my ass cheeks and the backs of my thighs, then working his way up to start the whole process again.

  My hands had pressed up against his chest, grazing over his pectorals and down his strongly-defined stomach, sliding my fingers down to his sexy V. I’d said to Nate I didn’t know why we owned a king-size bed when we always ended up wrapped together right in the middle taking up hardly any room at all. He’d laughed and replied it was room for all the kids we were going to have to jump in with us. He was so excited about us starting a family, which made me wonder if he had been holding off for me, waiting for me to say I was ready.

  When Nate had finally unwrapped himself from around me to go to the bathroom I watched as he strolled in. He was walking lighter, and I knew he was on top of the world. Before entering, he’d turned his head and given me the widest smile and a sexy wink.